Yesterday’s blog inspired a lovely friend of mine to write a follow-up. My first guest blogger! Thank you for being so honest, Emily!
by Emily of http://thediligentone.blogspot.com/
And while we’re on the subject of pretty, you know what? You’re pretty, too! I’ve been meaning to tell you, and I know I haven’t.
I don’t know why I haven’t told you, but I just haven’t.
Actually, that’s not entirely true. I sort of do know why I haven’t told you that you’re drop dead gorgeous. That I love your outfit. That your hair always looks great. That I love the way you sing, parent, play an instrument/sport, *insert anything here*.
And, it has more to do with me than it has to do with you. You see, sometimes when I see you looking so pretty, it makes me feel ugly. Ugly and insecure. Like my outfit isn’t as good as yours. Or, sometimes I just don’t want you to know how pretty you really are. Because, as woman we are in direct competition with each other. And, if you’re so pretty, then you’re probably prettier than I am, and we can’t have that. Right?
Wrong! Wrong-o! It has taken me years and years to realize- and believe me, I am still working on it- that it feels good to compliment someone. Then, why is it so hard to do sometimes? Is it because we all secretly want to be the prettiest, the best? Is it all just a competition? Ladies: sometimes we are guilty of tearing the ones down to whom we should be the most supportive!
So, in this new year, I challenge you to something that I think will actually be quite fun: be generous with your compliments to other women. Tell the woman whom you admire that you admire her. If you see a girlfriend who is looking fab, be the first to compliment her. Think about how good it feels to be on the receiving end of a genuine compliment, and allow someone else to experience that feeling. Because, you know what? We’re not in competition with each other. Or, at least we shouldn’t be. We can all be joint owners of the title of Prettiest. And Best.
Besides, I have a feeling that by building up the ones we care about the most, we will inadvertently build up ourselves as well.