Privacy Settings: We have none

Conversations in Doctors offices today:

Today was the day that all 3 of us had to see our doctors so that they could fill out forms for our home study stating that we were in good health and that we take good care of 4y/o(almost 5!) B, ect. This never fails to lead to very loud conversations in crowded waiting rooms. It’s a good thing I don’t embarrass easily.

I tried to explain to him why we all are seeing the doctor and running tests, since we’re perfectly healthy, which led to me trying to explain a home study, which I obviously did a pitiful job of, because as soon as we sat down in my physician’s waiting room, he asked loudly, “So Mom, am I getting a sister today?”

A man across the room chuckled that he told his the stork brought theirs.

Well, there is no way to explain this privately, because my son’s inside voice is about 93 decibels. So, I went ahead and explained to the man that he’s confused because we’re adopting. I looked back at B and the shortened version of our conversation went like this:

Me: “We’re not getting a sister, here, and we’re not getting one today. We’re probably not getting a baby for a while still. Remember that I said we are here to work on our home study blahblahblah (which is seriously probably what he heard anyways)”

B: “The doctor is not giving us a baby?”

Me: “No”

B: “Who gives us a baby?”

Me: “Another Mommy who isn’t able to take care of the baby gives the baby to us, and we’ll be the baby’s family”

B: “Who decides if the baby is a boy or a girl?”

Me: “God.”

B: (turning away from me in his chair) “I need to go talk to God.”

We had a 1.5 hour wait at the first doctor’s office! The only option was to start your own storytime.

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2 hours later, at the pediatrician…

B jumps up from his seat in the waiting room, startling me and everyone else, and runs into the lobby. I yelled after him to come here!

He yelled back, “I’m running away from you!”

I didn’t really know what to think when he stated the obvious. A second later he poked his head around the corner and yelled into the (full) room: “I was running away from you so I could toot in here!!” Ooooomigosh. I think his dad taught him that recently. But I think he forgot to teach him that you’re not supposed to announce it.

Just when I thought I might pull myself together from that, he walked back in, sat down, and said “I need to poop.” Everyone in the waiting room had done that quiet-shoulders-shaking-laugh up until then, but really, we all just had to have a good laugh at that point.

_____________________________________________________

We got back into the room with the pediatrician and she said, “Hi B, how are you today?” B responded, “We’re here to pick up a baby”

Square one.

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