No, that’s not the sound of my biological clock. Although it certainly makes it’s own noise. That, my friends, is the sound that I hear in my head for the entire last 2 weeks of every cycle. And it is absolutely freeing to tell you about it. I never talk about this, to anyone but the Hubs. We discuss it often. Its not exactly something you announce when someone says, “Hey girl, how ya doin’?” I can’t really respond, “Oh I’m pretty much busy pretending I’m pregnant, in case this is the month that I actually am. Oh, and did I mention I can take a test in 11 days?”
Don’t get me wrong, in the years we’ve spent “trying” (what a ridiculous term), we’ve actually come to a really peaceful place about the whole thing. Our lives are overflowing with happiness and blessings. Our son is so precious that I could never put it into words. We decided a long time ago that this waiting journey cannot comsume us. But, you can’t tell me not to think about it. I’m gonna think about it.
So, I will just share with you that the last 2 weeks of every cycle is the most annoying. I’m probably not pregnant, but what if I was? I have many bad habits that I have to break during this part of my cycle, simply because there are some risks you would never take while pregnant. The worst is when I have a cold, or some other ailment that I would really like to self medicate, and I can’t. I do love my Nyquil. I love my coffee too. But I’m not giving up the coffee. Blake turned out fine.
I read this today. God constantly gives me gentle reminders that he hasn’t forgotten me. He’s super nice like that:
Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life. Proverbs 13:12
Wait for the Lord. Be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. Psalm 27:14