Grandparentitis

Definition: Grandparentitis is the inflammation of your child’s petulant nature  due to exposure to indulgent grandparents.

Causes: the spoiling of a child, by his/her grandparents

Symptoms include, but are not limited to: a child not giving a wahoo where his actual parents are (which is good, because sometimes they happily leave), glee, giggling, squealing, bratty behavior, full blown temper tantrums, excitement, frequent use of the words “no” and “mine”, more glee, sticky hands and feet due to great quantities of ice cream and other sugary treats, exhaustion due to late bedtimes and being entirely to excited to sleep, the unexpected appearance of Disney marketed toys, and more excitement.

Risk Factors and Complications: long term exposure to grandparentitis, left untreated, could lead to the development of a full on brat.  Grandparentitis must be treated properly.

Treatment: once the grandparents have been removed from the living environment, decontamination can take days, and possibly weeks.  This will require shocking the infected child’s system with the reality that he is not, in fact, the center of the universe.  Withdrawals are likely.  Tantrums will increase in intensity before returning to their normal levels.  Unfortunately, a great deal of discipline will be required to restore order to your home and completely eliminate the infection.

Prevention: There is no way to prevent this infection for any child that is blessed enough to have grandparents.  Although it is imperative that grandparentitis be treated properly (see above, to avoid complications), it is a necessary part of your child’s development.  Attempting to prevent grandparetitis would make the world a sad place to be and would rob your children of some of the best memories and relationships of their lives.


Dear Migi and Big Daddy,

I miss you. Thank you for coming to see me. Thank you for my awesome new clothes, ice cream, books, games, Wonder Pets, Cool School, blueberry parfaits, and my Buzz Lightyear. Thanks for making a very long trip just to come hang out with me.

I’m acting alittle better for Mom and Dad now that you’ve been gone for a couple of days, and mostly I was just whiney with them because you guys are so much more fun than they are. They’ll do, though.  I love you so much, please come back soon.

Blake

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2 thoughts on “Grandparentitis

  1. Plane tickets $594.90
    Luggage Fee $40.00
    Parking Fee $50.00
    Cheeseburger & fries, day one $3.95
    Ice Cream, day one $2.95
    Lunch, day two $8.35
    Chocolate with strawberry, day two $4.65
    Ice Cream, day two $2.95
    Buzz Light Year, day three $29.99

    Being Number 1 in the Universe for three days and a having a Daughter in Law who will let us have our Migi and Big Daddy time, PRICELESS

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