We’re trying to expose Blake to the arts. So, knowing that the local elementary school was putting on their rendition of Peter Pan, we were totally in. Plus, one of Blake’s favorite entertainers had a starring role. I wasn’t sure how he would do, since I rarely bring him with me anywhere that requires sitting still and being quiet and paying attention to something that is not on a tv screen. He can do any of these things individually, but the combo is killer. I just thought I would give you some snipets of the night, since I felt like surely I was starring in some ridiculous sitcom.
He’s sitting in Stu’s lap when the show starts. The director hasn’t finished his intro when Blake has already announced 3 times that he’s “Ready a go.” Stu takes him outside for a quick whisper lesson. He brings him back in after it appears that B is a certified beginning whisperer. I try to point out the stage several times, but since the lights weren’t lowered and we couldn’t hear these adorable children, Blake mostly just thinks they are oddly dressed kids who are having their own whisper contest. He did, however LOVE the crocodile costume since he saw one live the other day at the “Kwarium”. Anyways, I resort, of course, to food. I had some crazy protein/”health” bars in my bag that a friend left there recently (sorry Sara), so I start feeding him those. After he finished that off, I am able to scrounge up two packages of crackers left over from the presidents lounge at the airport (it’s a deep bag). When the food conveyor belt ends, so does Blake’s awesome whispering skill. “WANT SOME MORE???” Oy! “Whisper!” I say. “WANT SOME MORE?!” he does in his best whisper-yell. I tell Stu that there should be a juice box somewhere in there. I saved that because I knew that would give me, like, a full 5 minutes of quiet. Stu, holding the juicebox in front of B’s face tells me that it has no straw. Blake, who has now flunked Whispering 102 is saying loudly, “WANT A JUICEBOX?!” while someone’s child is giving her performance of a lifetime. I tried to distract him from it, but as many of you know, juiceboxes are special treats around here and Blake is not about to let one pass him by. So, creative mother that I am, I find a bobby pin in my bag and poke a hole in the place where the straw goes so as to let Blake suck juice out using the method he always gets in trouble for attempting. Fun and thirst-quenching, right?? Stu says, “Are you sure this is a good idea?” in his I’m a super-smart Dad voice, and I of course tell him I’m sure it IS. No, no it was not. Blake is now covered in strawberry-kiwi juice and so is Stu’s lap. And if I was really thinking when Erin handed me her empty soda can and asked me if I wanted to pour the juice in there so he could drink it then I would have said NO! I would have said, “Erin, silly girl, that’s a juice box with a tiny hole and if I try to squeeze juice out of that tiny hold and into that can then it could spray juice in my face and also spill all over my awesome Cole Haan “diaper” bag that my mother in law gave me!” But I didn’t say those things. And you can imagine how things went. After trying drawing (which required way too many “please whisper” conversations), and silly putty, I moved on to my last resort. The itouch. It always works, but I seriously resent the judgmental stares of all of the other awesome parents who’s children never watch tv and always behave.
So it turns out I was right. Babysitters are worth every penny. For the next 1-2 years, at least. 🙂