Dorothy was right, there really is no place like it.  I went to Texas last weekend to fly Mom home and my boys stayed here in Maryland without me.  Typically, there were injuries.  Yes, I have pictures.  Maybe my next blog will be for the Gross Chronicles. 

After taking care of Mom for the past 3 months, and the constant stress of her being in and out of the hospital, this week is bittersweet.  I expected to simply feel relief at having a burden lifted, but mostly I feel like I’m missing a limb.  I feel a need to call every hour and ask her if she took her medication and how she feels and what her blood pressure is and the status of her fluid retention.  I need to know if she’s eating ok and if she’s had enough water or too much salt.  I can’t help but constantly ask about her new cough, and whether it’s productive, is it a cold or just allergies, is there a fever, and then I worry that her allergy medication probably interacts with several other medications that she’s on.  I keep compulsively reminding them about her doctor’s appointments and have been reminded twice by my father that he can get her there. 


So, to cope, I took a nap today and then watched TV in bed for 2 hours.  Tonight I took a long bath with a glass of wine.  I miss Mom very much, but maybe, just maybe, I could get used to this too. 



One thought on “Home

  1. You make me cry. I understand your feelings–missing a limb. Rarely do we reach perfect peace and comfort. You definitely got into a mode of emergency–a constant state of caretaking.

    Enjoy your Blake. I know people say that stuff all of the time, but sometimes the feeling is similar–the stress and financial burden of kids, kids, kids, and then its gone and you want it back with a vengence. I can understand why people in large families like it. So much chaos, but silence is deafening. Lord, it’s such a short life.

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