It’s been a busy 2 weeks, folks. My parents came in 2 weekends ago for Blake’s birthday party and we had a fantastic time. It’s so rare to have them here at our house, so we really cherished it. On Wednesday, we flew back to Texas with them to meet up with Stuart’s parents and head to Nac to celebrate Blake’s birthday with them. It proved to be a bit too much excitement for our sweet boy. The flight was hard. Blake used to sleep on the plane, and now he doesn’t want to it still. So in addition to being un-napped, we are trying to entertain a toddler on a crowded plane. As we are getting close to Houston and starting to count down the minutes til we can get this baby and my mother (who is not feeling well, either) off the plane, the pilot makes an unfortunate announcement. Due to some bad weather in Houston we are going to be in a holding pattern for about an hour and a half. Holy Cow. Time can move so slowly depending on your circumstances. Once we land, we run into a series of more unfortunate events that I will not elaborate on (you’re welcome mom ;-)). We got to Nac around 11pm with a baby who hasn’t slept in God knows how long. For those who don’t have kids, it’s an interesting note that the more exhausted a baby is, the worse he sleeps. There is some weird “sleep begets sleep” thing that I don’t understand going on here. So Blake proceeds to cry all night, whether he’s sleeping or awake. It took until about Friday to recover from that trip. Even so, during the whole trip he was more obstinate with me than he has ever been before, refusing to eat what I gave him or sleep when I wanted him to. We came back on Sunday, where of course our plane has problems as well. Something to do with the navigational system. Needless to say, it’s a bad sign when they start showing the movie on the plane before you’ve even taken off. This used to be a minor inconvenience. But with a baby, being a stuck on a plane is very helpless and scary, it’s like have a ticking time bomb strapped to your chest. We finally got home, after 11 hours of traveling, and I never thought I would be so happy to see Maryland. We have such amazing friends here. Kelli picked us up at the airport and had brought us a homemade dinner and a gallon of milk! How did she know?! What a blessing. It was just what we needed. I feel like by today, my baby has finally returned to normal. I missed him.
We are so torn and stressed because this is the hardest it has ever been to make the trip to Texas. We want to go back, we want Blake to grow up around his grandparents, we want to have lots and lots more kids and don’t know how we would ever get them back and forth without a private jet. I think some people just resign themselves to not getting to be close to their long distance families. We, without meaning to, have tried to do that too, but then we have a trip like this and realize that we just can’t. I am devasted that my vision of life with kids is so different in reality. I thought they would grow up around all of their cousins and grandparents, aunts and uncles. If we stay here, then those people will just be the people who send birthday cards. And then there is the flip side, the people we do have. By not being around our families, Stu and I have seen how God can provide for those needs by placing people in our lives who treat us like family. As suprising as it is to hear myself say, leaving here will be a difficult decision too. There are people here we would miss desperately. Not to mention the fact that I don’t know how we could get back anyways.
Before we bought the house, I felt such a peace about being here. I truly believed that God was telling me to chill. But now I am very unsettled again. Pray for us.