This came up 2 different times yesterday with different friends, so I thought I would import one of my older myspace blogs to discuss it. Still very relevant, even more so with some of my recent play-date experiences.
Married White Female seeks mommy-friend. Child must be well behaved and husband must not be annoying. Non daytime worker preferable, seeing as my free time is during the day. Know-it-alls and perfect mothers need not apply.
I am observing a new phenomenon. I didn’t realize I did it too, but then my new friend pointed out that we met through mommy-dating techniques. My friend who, oddly enough, I met at Target. Blake was 4 months old and she was 8 months pregnant. She ooed and ahed over my baby and we talked about stretch marks and epidurals (don’t get me started). We parted ways, and then I decided that this is someone who would be fun to hang out with, and she’s about to be home with a baby all day too! So I trotted over to the Medela aisle (just a hunch), and found her. Once we determined that I wasn’t going to force her to go to Bible study and she wasn’t going to get me to sell Mary Kay (update: I’m now selling MaryKay and she has not gone to Bible study with me-what’s wrong with this picture?), we have become great friends! So I was recently telling another mom about this, and she started telling me how she met a couple mommy friends at the library’s reading hour and at the park. The more I ask about it, the more mommy dating stories I get. The funniest are the ones where you are trying to hedge a mommy you don’t want to date. You’re talking, and all of a sudden, she’s trying to get your kids to play together. She’s obviously a know-it-all mommy because she wants to know exactly when your child started crawling and whether you’re feeding him all organic food. So what happens when she asks for your number? You start pulling up your old dating techniques from college. Do I fake an emergency? Give a fake number? Its not you, it’s me?
I didn’t know that having a baby would throw me into this new culture, but I can’t say I hate it. Having mommy friends is great because they can relate to all of the nutty things you go through in a day. Now if you are one of my very special non-parent friends, don’t get the wrong idea. Any mother will tell you (as selfish as it sounds) that sometimes it’s nice to hang out with someone who doesn’t have a child on her hip and a nap schedule. Someone who can just ride somewhere in her car without having to play musical carseats. It takes all kinds!
Anyways, here’s to mommy-dating!