View From The Hills

I just turned 29.  I learned this week that when you say you’re 29, people think you’re lying.  They think you are in your 30’s but still hanging on to your twenties.  I resent having to convince a woman last week that I, indeed, just turned 29.  This brings me to the concept of anti-aging.

Here’s the deal.  The moment my darling son made his appearance, I looked 10 years older.  At first we attributed it to a very difficult delivery (understatement alert), then to baby weight, then exhaustion, and now…exhaustion?  I don’t know what it is now, except that I used to have the time to work a little harder on me.  It sounds vain, but you ladies know what I mean.  Even an extra 20 minutes in the bathroom can do wonders.  And I am ALWAYS in speed racer mode now.  There is either a toddler banging on the shower door (or worse, he’s not-so where is he?) or napping and I have a million other things to do before he wakes.  Shaving my legs is simply a luxury I can’t afford. 

Anti-aging is what happens to some women after their kids (all of them) get through that exhausting infant/toddler time and they finally can take some care of themselves.  You see them drop weight, get regular haircuts, cute clothes, lose the eye-baggage, and magically even seem more tan and glowy (I’m pretty sure the simple concept of sleep contributes to this look).  This doesn’t happen to all women, but I definitely have seen this phenomenon in several women in my life.  I actually heard the term on Jon and Kate plus 8, when in one of the interviews, Jon told Kate she was anti-aging.  Let me tell you, Kate is the epitome of anti-aging!!  Those who have seen the videos of Kate in the days when she had 6 infants know that she was tired.   And who wouldn’t be??  Now that her kids are older, and they obviously can afford to have some help, the woman is slammin’.  And I met her in person, the camera doesn’t do her justice, she was stunning.  (wow, girl crush much?).

As much as I love being a mother and look forward to doing it again, I have come to terms with the fact that I have to get through ALL the baby stuff before I can move on.  It’s scientific fact people.

My point is this, I’m looking forward to my 30’s.  I plan to finish having children (ask Stu for the synopsis of his “I want lots of babies speech”-Oh, never mind, that sums it up), enjoy them, shave my legs, and begin anti-aging.  Kate, call me.

I seem to fall in love with the most unsuccessful shows. I loved Lipstick Jungle. I loved MVP (that one is Sara’s fault, I probably wouldn’t have sought that out myslf-wink). And Sam says Kath and Kim won’t last either (obviously it was geared toward such an intellectually superior audience that there are not enough of us to support it). Days of Our Lives does still keep me entertained on the treadmill (speaking of intellectual), but my other shows are about to end. Is there anything new out there?

That is my trivial concern for the day.

This is us.  Blissfully ignorant, going camping.

I want to be a camping person.  I want to be tough and let things roll off my back.  But I have learned this weekend that some things are beyond my control.  Like my hysteria.

Let me back up.  Our wonderful, selfless friends suggested Stu and I take a little weekend trip while they keep Blake.  We needed no time to ponder this.  Much to everyone’s surprise, we decided to go camping.  I have wanted to see Assateague Island for awhile now, and we thought it would be a great way to enjoy nature and each other with no other distractions.  Plus, it’s cheap!  There were ups and downs.  Unfortunately the downs were such downers that we had packed up and started home by Saturday afternoon.

Here are some of the the things we saw. You can guess which exact thing put me over the edge.

Wild horses!  Including 1 newborn foal!

The ocean, the beach there was beautiful!

The coolest Volkswagon van that morphs into a mini camper and hasn’t been made since 1991.  I still intend to get one.

Ticks, an alarming amount of them, the most alarming one being the one living ON MY HEAD.

One very ugly, yet intriguing frog.

What happens to a whole bag of marshmallows when you throw it on the fire.  Awesome.

An Advil robbery at CVS (we actually were reporting it as it happened because the stupid getaway car was parked directly in front of us with cardboard over the license plate, conspicuous much?)

Assateague Island, Ocean City, Rehoboth Beach, and the great state of Delaware.  (We took the scenic route home)

Several cops unholstering their weapons as they approach a broken down barn on the side of the road. 

An arrest on the side of the road.

Dolphins!

Stu doing a fire dance

We had a really great first night.  We had the fire, scrabble, burritos warmed by the fire, s’mores, and a romantic walk.  But night was a sleepless one for this girl who already struggles with what my doctor calls “mommy insomnia”.  I was up for much of it, but by morning I decided to be positive and have a great day.  It was when I scratched my head and pulled a tick out of it that I lost my cool.  This is such an understatement.  Once Stu talked me down, I agreed to stay our last night if we slept in the car (which is what the Element is made for, so this isn’t really that crazy).  But when he later went into the woods to get some brush for the fire and came back with ticks all over his pants, I was pretty inconsolable.

This was when we begin to pack up.  We hung out on the beach for awhile, then took the scenic route home.  It was on the way that we witnessed all the criminal activity.  Seriously, nothing screams “I’m about to rob a store!” like covering your plates with cardboard.

Things we learned:

My son doesn’t miss me at all as long as he is with the Hillmars.  When I showed up he just stared at me.

I now know every disease that can be spread by the bite of a tick.  I’ll keep you posted as symptoms will not appear for at least 24 more hours.

This was the last time I will ever sleep in a tent again.  Ever.

I might have been a hardcore tomboy as a child, but I’m pretty much all girl now.

Being away from coffee is hard.

We do have an awesome camping vehicle.  We appreciated our Element in a whole new way this weekend.

I am just a nauseous person.  Every emotion makes me nauseous.  It’s incredibly annoying.

Camping at home is super fun too.

Things I am grateful for:

Prescription drugs.

Good friends.

My washing machine.

My pillowtop mattress.

Coffee.

The fact that Stuart and I made the most of a ridiculous weekend and still had so much fun!

So, Blake is having a playdate today.  Little Audrey is here for a few hours and it’s so funny to watch them “socialize”.  By this, I mean many lectures on sharing met with blank stares.  Actually Blake has been more of the whiner, until lunchtime.  It is these moments when I realize that my child is not like other toddlers.  As I watch my child eat an entire roast beef, spinach, and cheese sandwich in in under 5 minutes, I look over at Audrey, who has taken 2 little bird bites of her sandwich and is singing and playing with her juice.  I realize that Audrey is not the odd one here.  I realize that most toddlers don’t eat that much and would rather subsist on juice.  Most toddler’s parents are not forced to buy especially large diapers online because they aren’t sold in stores.  It just explains alot, that’s all.

Your neighbor shows real signs of vacuum cleaner envy and you find yourself lusting after the “coolest” minivan.